No really, how do you stay happy in your relationship?
I have now been married for almost two years and honestly I can say it has been the best time of my life. I have also had moments where I have realised how hard marriage truly is. With marriage comes great responsibilities and demands. Sometimes it is hard to keep everything in the balance but I always remember that the best things in life are the things we continuously work hard for.
In relationships couples encounter factors such as jealousy, fear, anger, hatred, trust issues and many more. So let’s talk about it and help each other grow and be strong. Whether you’re a man or woman reading this article, I know you’ll relate.
Relationships and marriages in all are very challenging situations to be in, but the amount of happiness they can bring to the heart is priceless.
The one thing I have found challenging in my relationship is time. When I say time I mean giving my husband his own time to be alone. I am the type of person who is constantly checking on their partner to make sure they are okay and if they want to play a game or cuddle up.
My husband likes his own time to play games, read books or spend some times on his computer. Sometimes I get frustrated because I feel like we don’t spend enough time together as we both work Monday to Friday and I start complaining, which of course doesn’t help because we start arguing.
The one thing I always forget to do when it comes to giving my husband his own time is being fair. I get plenty of time to do my own things without a single complaint.
Now, I am not saying my husband is a Saint and gets everything right. He too does have flaws just like me and just like anyone else.
I am not the clingy type of wife, however I do believe it is essential to spend quality time with your partner without devices whether you are married, engaged and or in a relationship. These days we all have electronics and we do rather spend a large proportion of our time on them.
I am sure there are many other challenges in relationships and some challenges are more difficult and can lead to separation. I just wanted to share with you one of my main challenges.
What sacrifice have you had to make?
My husband and I got married at a very young age when we were both 22 years old in the United States. I had to leave the United States to move to the UK with him. We have been planning to buy a home for the two of us as we are currently staying with his lovely parents.
We have been saving up for a house for some times now and you would think that we would have enough by now, however we have had so many situations come up where we needed to spend the money we have been saving up.
I guess the sacrifice is waiting to have our own place so we can start our life and eventually start a family when we are both ready.
I have spoken to many couples about their living arrangements and have found that housing for couples is a big problem.
In my case, it is money. The housing prices in the UK keeps going up and it’s getting harder and harder for young people to buy a Flat or to even move out to rent.
How do you make things work when you both disagree on a topic ?
In life we all from time to time disagree with others not because one is wrong or right but because it is what we strongly believe in. A big disagreement in a marriage or any type of relationship can lead to many problems in the future.
In my life I have learnt a very important lesson and that lesson is to never point fingers or to say that someone is wrong because of their perspective on a topic.
When my husband and I disagree on a topic, I always ask for him to explain his point of view and why he believes he is right and I do the same too.
When I got engaged after 4 years of being in a relationship, I was given lots of advice about marriage. The most popular advice was financials. Please believe me when I say it is all true, financial is the biggest topic in any relationship.
Talking about money can really make you tired and angry. It is a very frustrating topic to talk about.
Let me tell you a little story: Where I come from, when you get married, it is believed that what is yours is your husband’s or wife’s too. Many countries have their own beliefs. Now, I married a British man and boy have I learnt a lot.
My husband believes that it is better for us to keep our financials separately as he is earning his own money and I am earning my own too. I still find this very strange, because when I was growing up, I was taught that once you are married, you share everything.
Again this is not to say my husband is a bad husband, it is just his beliefs and preferences.
Recently however, we have both agreed that it is time to focus on saving by getting a joint savings account. We are both a little proud of this milestone and look forward to the ones to come.
The second advice I was given was on jealousy: Now, we all get jealous. Whoever you’re, you know you have been jealous at one point in your relationship.
Not going to lie, in my marriage and relationship I have been jealous on multiple occasions. Often when we get jealous, we get reasons like”there is nothing to be jealous about, do you not trust me? He or she is just a friend, there is absolutely nothing between us.”
Whoever you are, I just want to say, you absolutely have the right to feel jealous. It is hard for anyone to see their partner become closer to someone else.
When we get jealous, men and women, we behave differently and at the same time we start developing hate and negative energy around us.
When I feel jealous, I tell my husband immediately that he is making me jealous and that I don’t like the person I become when I get jealous. The best policy is honesty really.
If you don’t want to feel jealous anymore, talk to your partner and find a way to make it work. It doesn’t help or make things better when you feel jealous and make your partner feel jealous too.
How to keep the love alive?
Whether you are in a relationship, engaged or married, keeping the love alive can be hard and tiresome.
My first advice to you is never stop trying. By that I mean, don’t stop trying to look good just because you have entered that comfortable zone with your partner. Continue to do things that make them smile and look forward to coming home to you . Occasionally dress to impress.
2. Always be honest. If there is something bothering you, something you don’t like or anything you’re not feeling, talk to your partner. The sooner you point out the problem and express your wishes to make it work, the better things will get for the both of you.
3.keeps things varied: By that I mean, don’t keep doing the same thing every day. Experiment with new things, go out to different places and change up the routine. Relationships are already difficult so why not make yours fun?!
