How I overcome loneliness: So I have my dream job, I wake up every day, go for a morning stroll to meditate and clear my head before I start my day. After my walk I have breakfast, a cup of tea, catch up on the latest news and clock in by turning on my laptop at 8.30 am. Everything is fantastic! I work my own hours, create my weekly tasks, goals and I have no bossy manager to report to, but something is missing in my life, something everyone that leaves the house in the morning to go to work has. Shall I say it? Well of course, its co-workers! While I love being my own boss, I can feel very lonely sometimes; however I wouldn’t trade my position with anyone.
I went self-employed in September 2019 right after I quit my job. I was at a job that stressed me out so much that I got a stomach-ache when I arrived at work without fail until my last day. The hours were just unbearable and I saw my husband only 4 days a week. I worked night shifts on a 4 days rolling basis, my mental health was declining and my self-esteem was disappearing. So I quit my job with no replacement or plan in place and I just threw myself into my side hobby of Instagram and my blog. I am extremely grateful for my blessings because I got lucky and picked up more clients to turn my hobby into my full time job.
The one important thing that no one tells you about freelancing is that you hold every role. What I mean is, you are the employee, manager, human resources, assistant and tax filer. There are no office parties, after work drink/chat (I don’t miss the gossip), inside jokes with your co-worker best friend. It’s almost always you, your laptop and phone most days.
I noticed my mental health slipping down a very dark hole last year, I cried to my family and anyone that would listen that I didn’t have friends. I was extremely lonely and I was losing the desire to continue. So I sat down with my husband and we talked about things I could do (during a pandemic) to change the way I was feeling. So here’s how I overcome loneliness as a freelancer:
Find online groups
My work picked up during the pandemic so everything was based online. I joined several influencers/blogger groups on Facebook or Meta now. The groups are great help especially when I am feeling down because I am connect with other freelancers and likeminded individuals. It’s an amazing thing when you talk to someone that is going through or has been through the hurdle you are currently experiencing. Sometimes you’ll find there are freelancers close to you or in London and you are able to arrange a meet for a coffee date and to catch up. The groups are also incredibly informative and packed with tips on working with brands, standing up for yourself and charging for your time.
Get back into reading and engage your mind
I am ashamed to say this but I completely neglected reading just like I did my writing. I got so busy with work and I was constantly working from the moment I woke up to when I turned off the light to go to sleep. My life was basically Instagram, my camera and emails. When you do the same thing for a year, you start to feel dull and unintelligent and for me it’s completely understandable as I wasn’t engaging/stimulating my brain. So I changed that by picking up a few books, some about self-help and the others fictional. Now whenever I feel overwhelmed I just throw myself in a book provided I don’t have contracts or content creation that need completing.
Excersice to clear the mind
Exercise is to me is the best form of meditation and a way to clear your mind especially you are stressed. On top of my daily walks, I’ve now joined the gym local to me which is a nice convenient 20 minutes’ walk. The great thing about joining the gym is that it has a physical class for you to join with other people and to me that is a great way to meet and make new friends. The stresses of freelancing disappear if you have something to look forward to every week. You can also still enjoy the gym without the physical class by simply exercising and freeing your mind.
Set up Virtual meeting with clients
I absolutely love meeting with clients especially with the video conference app, Zoom. While most of my communication with clients is done via email, it’s a great opportunity when you chat to them virtually and get a better understanding of the brief. This is to me is essentially similar to having co-workers even if only for a minute. It creates a strong relationship with the brand, gives you the opportunity to use your beautiful voice to engage and overcome your loneliness.
Attend Networking events
Events are possibly one of my favourite ways to overcome loneliness as a freelancer as you actually get to meet other freelancers, converse and create connections. I’ve made lots of freelancer friends through events and every now and then we get together to exchange stories and get a coffee.
Build a healthy routine
I’m going to be honest here and say that I’m still working on building a healthy routine, even after 3 years of going full time with my self-employment. Currently I work every day and there is no such thing as a weekend break. During the week I deal with the admin side of things and during the weekend I create content. So I’m still working on building that routine that can work for me and give me a life and rest day. So can you see why it’s important to have this in place as a freelancer?
Self Reflection/Journalling
One of my other favourite habits that I picked up in 2021 was journaling because it reminds me of how far I’ve come and I know exactly what I want out of my career. I went a bit mad and purchased 3 journals, one is for gratitude/thanksgiving for all the great things that have happened for me, one is for manifesting and writing down my goals and the other is for accountability for my actions and what I am doing every day to achieve my goals. These journals put things in perfective for me so when I feel down or lonely I just look at my goals and what I am trying to achieve.
Know that this moment won’t last forever
Back in my teenage days, things weren’t so rosy for me and people would always tell me ‘things will get better, this thing won’t last forever’. Safe to say I didn’t believe them but here I am today! I am my own woman in charge of my own happiness and career, I say no to things/people that don’t bring me happiness and peace. Because I’ve been alone for so long, I’ve learned to love my own company and get to know myself better than anyone. So whatever horrible situation you are currently going through, just know it’s not forever and things will get better.
I would love to know how you overcome loneliness in your life, just leave a comment below. Feel free to browse my other posts here . All the pictures in this blo were captured at Shendish Manor Hotel.
